Twisted

Here we go again.
Alone with the wine.
Hunched in turmoil at the desk.
What beauty you might find in this moment.
You who feed off my outpouring.
The delicious taste of someone suffering.
Survival of the fittest;
Your instict soothed by the knowledge that
Someone else won't make it.

Kiss my memories with your tears.
Fill your pockets with my remains.
Inhale the choking recollection of my laugh.
Nothing you say will make it easier.
You distant eyes, drinking this in.
You worried friends and sympathetic artists.
I want to hurt you in your ignorance.
Slap you with a cold dead hand,
Leave marks you have to explain.

My twisted heart, played with too many times.
Squeezed until the veins pop, punched until it bruises,
Scarred from the stabs, slow from inertia,
Wet from sweating cries of "enough".
It won't let me melt this frozen frown,
Can't stop the spitting rage, the fits of screaming.
You may look on with your concern.
But what will it change?
Until I am held in love I will never heal.