Save Me

Why is it, I spend half my time excited about life's brilliance
And half listening to Nick Drake wondering why things are so bad.
Some of the time it's my fault, stupid pretending girl
Most of the time it's your fault.

For any reason,
Usually for failing my own expectations.
For not being there, not replying, not paying me all the attention.

When did I become so selfish?
At what point in my jagged existence so far did I decide
That if you're not good enough for me, I'll push you away
Blame you, accuse you, belittle you, use you
Or worse, ignore you.

Enough is enough.
The little house, four rooms for one person.
So selfish. So indulgent. So not how it should be.
Get me out.
My safe little life. So right for you. For you the mother in me.
The epitemy of everything you wanted me to be.
The opposite of everything that's right.

You* made me see it.
With your talk of giving it all up.
Saving me from giving up on it all.